MOLLY MAYER

I know. Last time was supposed to be the last time. To be fair, the last time had different intentions on the gps and this time, it’s me that’s the pusher.

To know me is to know I’m referring to any and all educational adventures. I have continued to say this for the last [almost] ten years–but never did I ever imagine I would be where I am today. When I graduated high school I was terrified to go to college because I had no idea what I wanted to do. It seemed like all my friends had plans or at the very least, an idea of what they were interested in and would ultimately end up pursuing.

I had no idea.

I still remember the Sunday when the high school seniors were “invited” to stand up in front of the church congregation and share our future plans. Lucky me, I got the microphone first and proudly announced, “My name is Molly and I have no idea what I’m going to do.” –well, maybe it wasn’t so much as a proud announcement. It was more so a blunt-forced verbalization so I could return back to my seat and not have to answer any other questions.

Good thing my friend Jana snatched the microphone out of my hand and said, “She’s going to UNL with me.” …and I did. …and I hated UNL. …not all of it, but when you’re 18/19 years old and you truly have no idea what you want to do and feel forced into college and student loans…it’s scary. I was terrified because I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I didn’t know what interested me because at the time (and still to this day) many things interested me. I felt out of place because (like I previously said) a lot of my friends had a pretty clear picture of what they wanted to do, and I had none. I figured I would eventually figure it out and I did. Then I took it back and figured something else out. Then I took that back, and figured something else out. All in all I graduated from UNL with my degree in Psychology and absolutely no desire to move beyond my Bachelor’s degree because I didn’t think I’d enjoy sitting and listening to people talk all day.

Fast forward four years later and I started exploring something that I was actually passionate about, art, and what that would look like. Eventually, I moved forward in pursuit of my graphic design degree.

Fast forward three years later and I’m at the wholesale printer. I was terrified (again) once I finished my second Bachelor’s degree, so I found a job at a wholesale printer and it was the best place for me to start. I got to ease into my field and learn how part of graphic design works…backwards. The wholesale printer primarily worked with people across the country, still does since they’re still in business. While I was there I learned about so.many.different materials, digital and screen printing processes, shipping, and ordering. I was on that end–the ordering end. I emailed back and forth with customers all day and sent orders through to pre-production and followed them through to shipping. Without this job, I wouldn’t have the knowledge I do and wouldn’t feel the confidence about different signage to this day. So, Gene, James, and Mark, if you ever read this, please know I am truly grateful.

Fast forward to where I am today. I’m now in transportation engineering. How in the world did I end up here? I have no idea. All I know is I went from the wholesale printer, to a retail printer, where I am pretty sure the big boss didn’t like me (I know, the audacity, right?) and by the goodness of her big sister vibe, my friend Jen helped me land this job with the transportation engineering firm.

A little about transportation engineering…first of all, it’s a lot. There are so many moving (haha) parts throughout all of it, that it’s hard to know where to start. There are proposals, and interviews, then projects, and notices to proceed, then meetings, and scopes and fees, then plans get put in hands, and eventually a project is complete. Traffic signals are not called traffic lights or stop lights and if you want to instantly increase a traffic engineer’s blood pressure, call it a stop light. There are planners and designers, environmentalists, soil kings, and bug huggers. I worked with all of them. In the graphics group, we work with each group across the company to help build their PowerPoint presentations, proposals, guides, maps, reports, project signage, and handle all of the internal visual communications, too. To say our group is busy would be putting it lightly. In these last five years I’ve learned a lot and there are times I’m told [still] that I am just scratching the surface. In the last five years I’ve been given the opportunity to serve my community and help time traffic signals. Those pieces have been a lot of fun.

BUT back to the original point. This IS my last time. After my first Bachelor’s…then my second Bachelor’s…and my Master’s…I’m now headed into a portfolio program.

AND I SWEAR this is my last time. Probably. There are no guarantees in life, so I don’t want to make empty promises. BUT I am pretty certain this is the last educational adventure I am going to be making. I am pretty sure I am going to be too tired to become a postpartum doula or a nurse and I am also pretty dang sure I am and will be too tired to ever become a traffic engineer.

Portfolio school will be my last and continuing to remind myself of this is what will keep the little squirrels pedaling their bikes inside my brain and not running amok.

I will always be up for an educational adventure. I once had a therapist ask if school is where I feel safe, and I think that is a piece to my puzzle. However, I think after this, I just need to focus on finding an adventure outside of having to pay for it. I don’t regret any of my previous educational adventures, nor will I. Each brought a degree and each brought me to a new stage of life–a new transition into more of who I am. I say this is probably the last time because I feel like I might be close to the person I’ve always wanted to be without really knowing who she is, just knowing she has existed deep down inside my heart. I think after this, it will be her time, my time to shine.

Unless of course it doesn’t. Then I’ll find something else to study and we’ll try again.